Kinda lonely right now…..REALLY missing my boyfriend. So I wrote this to him

I hate to sound like a broken record here but, staying here alone for the past few days and the next few days is going to be incredibly lonely. It’s REALLY opened my eyes to how much the people in my life mean to me and how happy I am to have them around. Specifically I’m referring to Kenny. This week I’m getting a glimpse of my life and how it would be without him in it. A year and a half ago, it may not have bothered me, but I’ve realized what a horrible and sad life I would have without him in it. There’s been times when I’ve wanted to leave so bad but, there’s things we can’t do because we KNOW it’s not supposed to be that way. I know we haven’t been together as long as some people but me feeling like this just shows me how much he means to me. Kenny, I’m sorry if you’ve felt like I take you for granted and I know we’ve been struggling a lot lately but things have looked up for both of us. I could never imagine a day in my life without you in it. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where we weren’t together. I firmly believe that you are my ONE and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I miss you and I love you more than any words could ever say. Have fun with training and I’ll see you when you get home ♥

 

beforeandafterfatlosspics:


fitnik29 
Hello! I’m Nikki. 5’4”. In the first picture I weighed 208 lbs, and in the second 138 lbs. 70 lbs down now! I started my journey in November 2012 (after some miserable birthday pictures) so this is about 7 months progress of clean eating and exercise.
To be honest, I never thought I would get down to this weight ever. I didn’t think I had that much to lose. More like if I was honest with myself, I didn’t want to admit that I had that much to lose, plus saying that my goal was to lose 70 lbs or more just seemed so outrageous and unattainable. I was Queen of the Fad Diets. I’ve tried probably every single one out there. From age 17 to age 22, I constantly lost and gained the same 30 pounds. (I thought 170 was my forever low weight.) Once I finally let go of seeking the ‘quick fix’ everything seemed to fall in place.  It sucks to hear it, but there’s really no quick fix. You’ve gotta commit. But it is so worth it. Get over that first hump and I promise, you will question why you haven’t tried to be truly healthy all along. Best of luck in all your healthy journeys! <3

beforeandafterfatlosspics:

fitnik29 

Hello! I’m Nikki. 5’4”. In the first picture I weighed 208 lbs, and in the second 138 lbs. 70 lbs down now! I started my journey in November 2012 (after some miserable birthday pictures) so this is about 7 months progress of clean eating and exercise.

To be honest, I never thought I would get down to this weight ever. I didn’t think I had that much to lose. More like if I was honest with myself, I didn’t want to admit that I had that much to lose, plus saying that my goal was to lose 70 lbs or more just seemed so outrageous and unattainable. I was Queen of the Fad Diets. I’ve tried probably every single one out there. From age 17 to age 22, I constantly lost and gained the same 30 pounds. (I thought 170 was my forever low weight.) Once I finally let go of seeking the ‘quick fix’ everything seemed to fall in place.  It sucks to hear it, but there’s really no quick fix. You’ve gotta commit. But it is so worth it. Get over that first hump and I promise, you will question why you haven’t tried to be truly healthy all along. Best of luck in all your healthy journeys! <3

PCOS or no PCOS? That IS the question!

So as most of you have read, i was previously diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). However, this doctor based it on my weight, and facial hair and had put in my reports that i miss my periods frequently, which is not true at ALL. I’ve never missed a period. This is also the same doctor that got fed up with me when I questioned him about why he never helped me or explained PCOS to me or get me on Metformin when he had diagnosed me the year BEFORE he even told me! His response was “Well, maybe if you got up off your ass once in a while and lost some weight, you wouldn’t HAVE these problems!” 

So it’s safe to say I stopped seeing that asshole. I went to another doctor (these are all Endocrinologists btw) and this one was a REPRODUCTIVE Endo. His main concern was getting me pregnant. Ummmm….yeah no. (For those of you who remember, I also have Hypothyroidism because I was born premature with no Thyroid) So I stopped seeing him too. 

So I went to yet ANOTHER Endo (ironically in the same office as the first one, cause I stared him down when I saw him to let him know I still hated him) and this guy was FANTASTIC! He not only went through my previous diagnoses with me and answered any questions I had to I would understand them, but also expressed his annoyance with the first doctor about how he acted towards me! Then we talked about my PCOS, he asked me when my last cycle was and I told him 3 weeks ago. If asked if I was on anything to produce a period and I told him no, I always got one every month and that they were like clockwork. THAT surprised him. I also had a U/S done about a month prior and did NOT have any cysts on my ovaries or the so called “string of pearls” as its called. He said that raised many red flags to him about whether the diagnoses was indeed correct because I didn’t fit the profile at all. He thinks it’s my hypo and causing a hormonal imbalance because my female testosterone levels were high but that was the ONLY PCOS symptom I had (which Hypo can throw hormones any which way it wants to) plus I was NOT insulin resistant and i was completely normal besides the thyroid issue and weight. (which are linked anyway)

So all in all, he’s 99% sure I DON’T Have PCOS! Just a hormonal imbalance cause of my Thyroid issue! :D Completely made my day!    He adjusted my thyroid pills (plus we switched back to generic cause thats what I was on before I saw the first asshole and it worked fine before he put me back on Synthroid. Which I gained 80lbs on. That and he dropped it from 225 to 125 which is Waaaaaay too low for me.) 

So I’m pretty happy with this guy. I have doctor/hospital phobia but this guy was great. I’ll definitely keep him around! Just one step closer to helping me get on the right dose and keep the weight coming off! :D Maybe it’ll even work better now! <3

Had a Friend write this on Facebook. Anyone wanna help her out?

Aunt says I should give my clothes to my cousin cause I’m too fat for them?

Went to my cousin’s baby shower this weekend and had a few things said (or ‘joked about at my expense’ as someone else put it) about my weight. Now, I’ve ALWAYS been the “bigger girl” in the family. My weight has gone up and down my entire life because I have a Thyroid issue (or well, a LACK of Thyroid IS the issue I guess. Was born without one so I’ve always had a little trouble but I’m not MORBIDLY obese or anything, I’ve been down that road but have made a comeback so no offence to anyone)
Anyway, I’ve lost about 50lbs within the past year and have about 35 to go to be at my ideal weight. I wore this really cute dress that I could finally fit into to the shower. I felt that I looked pretty good considering all the work I’ve done. My aunt however (the grandma to be) had other things to say. She did compliment me on the weight I’ve lost but that was really the only thing nice that was said. She’s VERY conceited and thinks very highly (too highly in my opinion) of herself and her family. I don’t know if its because her daughter is pregnant and GAINING weight while I’m doing the opposite is what triggered the comments but, things were said like “oh honey, you need to wear something else, that dress is too tight. Why don’t you give to (her daughter)? It would look better on her.” & “I still think she would look a lot better in that than you do, why don’t you go get some sweatpants and a large T shirt from her PJ drawer and change?” “Maybe *my daughter* can come over and pick out some things she likes from you?” (To which my sister replied “Or maybe she can go buy her own damn clothes?” I love her hahaha)

But REALLY? Who the heck says that? I REALLY had to bite my tongue not to make a btichy comment back to her like my sister did. I wish I would have to stand up for myself. I’ve EARNED this confidence and I feel she’s smashing it because I looks just as good and getting better looking than her daughter. My boyfriend told me to not worry about it and that he thinks i looked great in it and I did get lots of wonderful comments from other family that was there about how great I looked. My family members think highly of me because I do a lot of charity work and fight hard to get stuff done. And I stand up for what I believe in and they think it’s awesome how dedicated and motivational I am. But, I find it hard to stand up for myself, especially to family. 
Is it wrong for me to have a STRONG dislike of my aunt because of her attitude? I’ve always thought it was WRONG but I never really hated her like I do now. This isn’t the first time she’s done this over the years but talks constant crap about everyone on her husbands/ my side of the family and how hers is so much better.
What should I do about something like this? Has anyone had a similar experience? What did you do? Sadly, doing something privately and personal will probably only make it worse. I considered making a few little outbursts of my own and sticking up for myself, like my sister did, next time I see her. But i feel that wont make me any better than her even though I’m not downgrading on her or her family like shes doing to me and mine. Any recommendations?

beforeandafterfatlosspics:

imahb
Height - 5 feet
 04/24/2013 - 146.4
Chest - 34.5
Waist - 29.5
Thigh - 24
Arm - 14
05/18/2013 - 132.2
Chest - 32.5
Waist - 26.5
Thigh - 22.2
Arm - 12.3 I know it’s not anywhere near perfect but for once I’m proud of my body!

beforeandafterfatlosspics:

imahb

Height - 5 feet
 04/24/2013 - 146.4
Chest - 34.5
Waist - 29.5
Thigh - 24
Arm - 14
05/18/2013 - 132.2
Chest - 32.5
Waist - 26.5
Thigh - 22.2
Arm - 12.3
I know it’s not anywhere near perfect but for once I’m proud of my body!

beforeandafterfatlosspics:

sugacoatme
My final before &amp; after! It took me 5 months to lose 56 pounds, I’m 5’8.5” for reference! it was a hard journey but I’m so proud I did it! Through exercise &amp; clean eating I made a lifestyle change that I plan on maintaining through even harder exercising to tone up. I posted this before and after today instead of once I hit my final 140 because I’m done losing weight, I just want to tone up and watch my body get harder not thinner. Follow for fitness :)

beforeandafterfatlosspics:

sugacoatme

My final before & after! It took me 5 months to lose 56 pounds, I’m 5’8.5” for reference! it was a hard journey but I’m so proud I did it! Through exercise & clean eating I made a lifestyle change that I plan on maintaining through even harder exercising to tone up. I posted this before and after today instead of once I hit my final 140 because I’m done losing weight, I just want to tone up and watch my body get harder not thinner. Follow for fitness :)

idagetsfit:

Wake up bitch 💤 off to the gym and kill my shoulders 👊 But first some pwo, I’m so tired haha! 😁

idagetsfit:

Wake up bitch 💤 off to the gym and kill my shoulders 👊 But first some pwo, I’m so tired haha! 😁

(via cprudden)

skinnyydarling:

205 to 139 ish

i still have such a long way to go but i need to remember how far i’ve come

(via imgonnamakeachange)

sugacoatme:

Side view, from 200.2 down to 143 :) I did it! Finally made my goal :) follow for fitness

(via beforeandafterfatlosspics)

mygoal113:

Lost 44lbs so far :)

Amazing!

mygoal113:

Lost 44lbs so far :)

Amazing!

(via beforeandafterfatlosspics)

fitcriss:

beedleebee:

afrenchgirlgetsfit:

go girl, you’re doing it right :D

This photo belongs to Peacefulserenityxhealthylife, please don’t steal. It’s rude. I can’t change the source on my phone though :/

I didn’t steal. It was posted on my dashboard and I was impressed with her progress, so I reblogged. 

fitcriss:

beedleebee:

afrenchgirlgetsfit:

go girl, you’re doing it right :D

This photo belongs to Peacefulserenityxhealthylife, please don’t steal. It’s rude.
I can’t change the source on my phone though :/

I didn’t steal. It was posted on my dashboard and I was impressed with her progress, so I reblogged. 

(via imgonnawearshortshorts)

imgonnawearshortshorts:

:twenty2ndyear:

fitslife:

Maybe I should do all three of these at once…yes good idea.

(Source: story-of-a-modern-child)

whimsikalillumination:

relright:

adelightfuldilemma:

Aww, this was too inspirational of a picture to not reblog. I love the smile on her face and how she’s so confident and happy with herself, like we should all be :)

a reminder to myself and others

i bought an adorable bandeau bikini from target for this year :))) since i can’t find my bathingsuit from last summer…

whimsikalillumination:

relright:

adelightfuldilemma:

Aww, this was too inspirational of a picture to not reblog. I love the smile on her face and how she’s so confident and happy with herself, like we should all be :)

a reminder to myself and others

i bought an adorable bandeau bikini from target for this year :))) since i can’t find my bathingsuit from last summer…

(Source: runliveloveyourself, via shrinkingelephant)